Dear NFL Kickers,
I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for this. You all were doing just fine doing your normal jobs before the NFL decided to change a critical part of your game. Now you are under the microscope through no fault of your own. Essentially we made your job exponentially harder to make the game more exciting and interesting. The media has been all over you guys and some of you have even lost your jobs over this kicking epidemic.
The problem is that – there isn’t a problem.
Heading into week 14 of the NFL Season according to ESPN.com kickers are 210 for 224 on field goals between 30-39 yards and are 846 for 901 on extra point attempts which are 33 yards. Meaning kickers are hitting 93% of both field goals and extra points this year.
So problem solved? Not necessarily. It’s time for everyone to relax and get off the kickers back and focus on the next rule the NFL we should change. The league pushed back extra point attempts to make them harder and the games more exciting. Which, granted, it has been doing. The extra point is no longer automatic and has resulted in a variety of unique in game situations. However the No Fun League is still no fun so here are some rule suggestions for good ole Rodger Goodell.
Let’s start by taking some of the pressure off the kickers. No one will miss an extra point again if we get rid of them entirely. Just scored a touchdown? Congratulation! Take your six points and leave the offense out there to go for two. If you liked extra points no longer being a freebie you should love this one, teams are converting only 49% of their two point conversions in 2016 so far. Let the drama ensue. Added bonus? Higher scoring games.
Let’s make halftime great again. Teams have great fans, let’s finally reward them for it. See where I’m going with this yet? Halftime competition with fans from both teams. Winner gets three points. Competitions vary by stadium. Dallas? Hide and seek with Jerry Jones. Green Bay? Cheese eating contest. You get the idea. Basically imagine how pissed Bill Belichick would be heading into halftime with a 3 point lead and coming back out onto the field to a tie game because a drunk fan lost the halftime contest.
It’s 2016, no one carries change around with them anymore and people forget that it actually costs more to make a penny than what a penny’s worth. Change is a way of the past and so is the coin flip. Also when every single coin flip involves a different ceremonial coin they are no longer that special. Ceremonial coins are turning into participation trophies but that’s another story for another day.
Let’s replace the coin flip with the water bottle flip. The trend is already getting old which is why it’s the perfect time for the NFL to jump on board. Away team gets the first toss, if they land it it’s like they won the toss, if they miss the Home team gets a chance and so on and so forth until someone flips their bottle.
And speaking of rules after figuring out how to work these one’s in lets have somebody figure out what the hell a catch is.